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Preview of the comic!

Page one of a comic I'm making for a group kickstarter project!  It's a fairy tale retelling--a dark twist on the original little mermaid.  Keep a weather eye out--the rest shall be out in October.


We had a layout meeting yesterday. 6 hours.  A group of 4-7 people (our numbers fluxuated as time went on) sat down in our theater and went through our entire film shot by shot.  We talked about acting and story, setting up a three act structure within each of our 7 sequences, camera moves and shot timing, mood, lighting, set up, framing.  


Nobody got their feelings hurt, everyone understood that cuts were being made to trim the story (I am ALWAYS fighting to keep this film closer to five minutes) while we decided which segments of story needed the most attention.  I was worried about a couple people but everyone really went at it with a team attitude ( a HUGE relief to me)  THis means we'll have final timing on our shots within the first two weeks of school which means we can turn things over to our composer right away which gives HIM time to get the score written by New Years so we can get the BYU philharmonic (YESSSS) to record...

Things are moving along.  My only HUGE worry right now is we don't have a rigger (someone who puts the skeleton inside a built 3D character.  We NEED a rigger. HOwever, the only person who is interested is currently modeling a significant part of our machine.  If I can't find a rigger by the end of today, I'm going to ask this kid to do it but...I mean, he's never rigged before and this is our main (and only character) who needs to do a SIGNIFICANT amount of acting.

Fingers crossed and remember our little film in your prayers, please!

Another Day

Just bummed out.  Down in the dumps--hoping that will work itself out but I for tonight I just got to be mad.  What I need is a good round of crying but don't know when I'll have the time.  Professor just let me know he wont be at dailies tomorow--I'm running them on my own again.  

Feels I currently have: Anger, frustration, sadness, irritation--lot of negativity flying around in my brain.  Summer is winding down, leaving me sad and lonely. Self image issues, self doubts.Everything everyone says just...sets my teeth on edge but my manners are too engrained for me to say anything.  

Where is the line between sticking up for yourself and being rude? UGH.  

Test Run

Birthday present to me:

This September, I'm running a marathon.  Nothing official, just me in the gym on a treadmill for 26.whatever miles.  Training starts tomorrow and will culminate 16 weeks from now on Sept. 22.  When I finish, I'm going to Tucanos, an all you can eat Brazillian Meat Grill.

This will be a test run.  I will immediately transition into a second set of 16 weeks of training in order to prepare for the Walt Disney World Marathon in January.

Nervous but excited! 

Selfish Decision Time.

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OK, I'll figure this widget thing out in a minute.   The Chasm film is back on track, everyone's excited, and lots of good things are happening.  Things are looking UP for ALL OF US.  YAY!

In other news, 

I'm going back.

I'm going back to Walt Disney World.  It's been almost three years since I accepted the role as a cast member there and I've been dying ever since I came back.  I still dream about it. Years later, and I can still mentally walk the beats, know the tunnels and the backstage paths. I can still sign over 40 character names. The parades songs? Memorized.  Bus schedules and the smell of the apartments fresh in my memory. I still pour over the pictures my friends working there are posting and I physically ache when I see anything that reminds me of those great times.

 I've never been as happy as I was down there.  Sure, it's childish.  Sure, it's probably a stupid obsession with a pop-culture giant.  Let me tell you though, I have NEVER been as happy as I was down there.  That job changed who I am in ways I cannot begin to describe.  If you had the chance for just one more day in paradise, you'd take it, right?  And there is no way I can stand moving on to a full time, grown up job without going back to visit Neverland one last time.


I am still fighting for an animation job and I want more than anything to get a studio position upon graduation.  I'm still working hard at school and shooting for 3 different residencies, all six months each, all meant to spit me right into the production pipeline when I'm done.  And then, that'll be it--I'll be a film industry professional.  Yes, I am still going to get a real-person job. Problem is, none of those jobs start until July 2013 and I'll be graduating in April 2013.  That gives me 3 whole months with nothing to do and a desperate need to save money before I'll need to be renting an apt in NYC or LA. (KYAAAAA!)

I AM GOING BACK TO WALT DISNEY WORLD.  Honestly, I feel this wave of relief wash over me every time I say it.  

(plus, if none of those residencies DO work out...I can plug in my backup plan of living in Walt Disney World forever while I draw my very own web-comic)
Just finished 8 hour shift gardening. Sunburned and sore.

Screw school, I'm writing on my Bleach screenplay.

A Marke(r)d Improvement (???)

Long talk with my teacher on Monday about what is best for me.  Oddly enough, he's the one who brought that up.  Told me I "needed to be more selfish" and that I'm "putting too much into the film without it befitting [me] at all". It was weird.  It was also decided that I should have a job that doesn't involve animation because I'm getting pretty burnt out.  The teacher left me with one more suggestion.

"Do something creative, something that doesn't involve anyone else, something that is %100 you without input from anyone else."  By the end of today I had specific plans for that project--currently titled "Well Grounded" (official announcement or whatever May 1st) but today...something else happened.

First off, I've been trying to get back into the sketchbooking habit.  If I draw with pen or pencil, that makes REEEEALLY thin lines so I fiddle and fuss and worry about making it perfect.  So, I tried working in a different medium today.


Guys.  GUYS.  Holy cow, I drew freaking 10 PAGES IN MY SKETCHBOOK. FULL. Dogs, people, places, frogs, faces...I drew and drew and drew for roughly 6 hours. With a sharpie.  About half an hour ago I realized I had a horrendous headache.  I realized this after I'd filled up a page and a half NOT with artwork but with tiny, scribbled marker writing.  When I brainstorm anything, I do it in a stream of conciousness kinda deal--mostly writing down key points to remind myself of the whole story later, snippets of dialogue, etc.  Well, this one turned out HILARIOUS and sounds like I'm drunk or drugged.

Let's first remember (or else nothing that follows will seem wonderous) that Megan normally writes things like this-->
Serious.  Most often sad.  Gut wrenching angst.  Fairly gritty and realistic.  Now, let me write out what is in my sketchbook.

  I have titled it, "CAKE OR BETH"

(warning.  I'm not entirely sure...what happened (only that I was supremely in love with ellipsis))

Beth, walking home from stcholle backpack etc and birds are cicling. "That's...not a GOOD sign..." Crest the hill<--people around saying "I say something smaells marvelous..."-->crest the hill and there is a gigantic cake slumped on the hill side, sixe of a herd of cattle. Cake...CAKE!!! Wait...Something about this seems...familiar...Wait! But it's too late people are already diving in, eating--cake shifts, turns in to butts and EATS one person! People next to them-->Jordan-->D We should stop. Shrug. go back to eating. Me, Wait! Wait! Congealing. All turning into gingerbread/ninjabread men.  Bringing me to the cake. Ever since the discovery of cake, "This is a battle you always knew would come...Cave Baby-->//LOOMS...Let. Them. Eat. Cake.  Flash back to my previous life as MARIE ANTIONETTE. The people are starving--they cannot eat bread...then let them eate cake. A CURSE upon you! Koala God Remus? A CURSE upon you.  No wait I-- No wait I-- No wait I--> Off with the backpack-->starts talking in french--I remember now...the sins of my past--allow me to correc tthem now.  Long has this war gon on between I and the Cake and ((DEATH)) Cate.  But no more.  I was weak during the revolution- Dizzy but I have trained since. That. Day. Little...Debbie. No wait, pillsberry doughboy, It's too dangerous--Bread sticks, crueller--?cookie crumbles.  I know know the only way...is to eat my way through.  You know why I never touched your sweets, Doughby? "You fear the fatness?" No!  Because I feared...POWER. A handful of cake, Magical girl transformation, Blood sugar, fizzy strawberry, HUGE energy boost kapow, kablam--Iching. Cha cha cha. Not yet.  Eat while you run.  Huge barf, turns the feild green and then grass grows"Life...twas short...but so very sweet." Beth Dies. NOOOO! Doughby, "I never told her how I really FEEL!"  "Dude, she knew. " What?  "Yeah, she just thought you were super gross so she kept the whole nemisis thing going.  Didn't want to hurt your feelings.  "Then I shall take all this raw emotion and re-enter the oven of life that I may be baked in the cruicible and reborn again as a--" HEAD SHOT, Doughby's head explodes (censored by a fluffy pink cupcake?)What?  Sorry, I've got class.  We can't just leave them like this//Nah, Jan says this'll sort itself out in a few years//A few years later//BOMB?

Ok.  So, not sure I exactly want to translate that for you, but I was dying laughing as I was writing it out. (not sure how much was the markers)  I probably will never animate this but I sure am going to try and storyboard it out.  I was trying to come up with something random and I think...I succeeded.

(in my defense, the day before a story guy from Blue Sky studios was here and he showed us some of his random short films.  I was trying to hit something like these-->

So, please stay tuned for a cleaned up, more logical (but still crazy awesome) version of Cake or Beth coming soon.

In which shipping makes me feel better.

Drinking Buddies 3
Friend Zoned
Renji-->Rukia, IchiRuki

Rukia was normally a happy drunk. Renji had discovered that the night of her promotion to vice captain (along with the fact it was GREAT to be drinking buddies with someone who had access to a Kuchiki Family All Flower Pass).  Tonight, however, she was deadly quiet.

“All I’m saying is,” Renji kicked a rock off the path and hoisted Rukia up higher on his back. “You’re lucky I even got out of bed.  Hell, you’re lucky Hisagi knew to get me instead of Kuchiki-taicho!”  No response.  “Your brother would have sent a freakin’ carriage and a pack of servants to come drive you home and then he wouldn’t have let you back out for a month.”
From the sheer number of empty cups left behind on the table, Rukia had drunk her way past happy, through inebriated, and seemed to have come out eerily sober on the other side.  She had been sitting perfectly still, face flushed, eyes stone cold, staring into what was left of a candle.  There were at least 3 empty bottles on the floor under her chair--not the clay jugs for sake but the glass bottles for the really dangerous stuff everyone knew that damn bartender made in the shed out back.

 Rukia started to slip back down again.

“If you don’t at least make the effort to hold on, so help me I will dump your ass by the side of the road.” 

Rukia’s arms tightened around his neck, and she rested her chin on his shoulder. The alcohol on her breath was making Renji’s eyes water. They were still a long way from the Kuchiki mansion.  He could have shuunpoed there in an instant but there was something nice about walking under the stars.   

“Do you know what today is?” Rukia asked quietly. Renji thought hard. They’d marked the first year after the winter war a few months back and he was pretty sure Rukia’s birthday wasn’t for a while still. Perhaps today was when Vice Captian Kaien had...but no, that had been during a summer, hadn’t it?  It was so long ago -- he still got chills thinking about Rukia’s eyes when he'd caught a glimpse of her at the funeral for the Vice Captian and his wife.

Come to think of it...wasn’t that just how she had looked at him inside the bar?

“No idea.” He shrugged, bumping her up higher. “ Human Christmas?”

“That’s in December, idiot.”  Another stretch of silence, then Rukia took a deep breath.  “It’s nothing.  Today is nothing. Not an anniversary, not a memory, not anything. Just a random day, one out of hundreds. How long are we going to leave him there?”

Renji went cold. He knew who she was thinking about. It seemed like an eternity before the lights of the Kuchiki mansion appeared on the horizon. He trudged up the hill as Rukia’s tears, hot with shame, ran down his neck.


It's final's week and I'm in a weird, angsty mood.  I'm gearing up to get lots of guff on what I want to do for the story for our senior film.  People still don't want an older woman for the main character. I've gotten a lot of "Make her hot so people will care" and I'm all "WOMEN CAN HAVE APPEAL BESIDES SEX APPEAL".

So since I don't drink I write Angsty!Drink and shipping fics! Poor Renji. I really feel like he missed his window with Rukia.  He should have talked with her before she left for the human world. I've now put in drabbles twice saying tha Ru is a happy drunk so I've got to write something cheerful next time.  Don't quite feel like it tonight.

In other news, posted a write up in the IR/FC at DA.  It made me feel better. Investing in other people's relationships (fictional or not) when my life is so blargy is really quite nice. Still in the process of moving over to Deathberry.

_Behold--how I feel about IchiRuki___________________________________________________________

True Story: Kubo separates these two every chance he gets because IF HE DIDN"T...babies. Bam.

But seriously folks.


I know we bring up Rukia bringing Ichigo out of the mopies quite a bit but we always seem to forget how he saved her in Soul Society.

Rukia was at the point where she believed wholeheartedly in her own worthlessness. She agreed that she deserved to die and didn't find it at all unsettling that so many other people including her brother felt the same way. Quick examination of Rukia's life/relationships up to this point has proven that time and time again she either terminates or fails to peruse relationships based on the false belief that the other person doesn't want her or that she's unworthy of their affections. This isn't just romantic relationships either--we're talking friendships and familial relationships as well.

When she met Ichigo and as their time together unfolded he ended up fulfilling every single one of them.

Ichigo became the friend she lost after that misunderstanding with Renji.

Ichigo showed her what it REALLY means to be an older brother both through the interactions with his own sisters and his encounter with Sora/Orihime.

Memories in the Rain, anyone? He faced the EXACT SAME situation as Kaien--the parallels between the graveyard and the fight with Hollow Kaien were in place before Kubo had even figured out Soul Society--and HE. SURVIVED.

Ichigo has blown everyone else out of the water when it comes to Rukia heart. That's why HE is the man in her heart--no one else can compare. And when their relationship reached the breaking point, Rukia's arrest, she was willing to chalk this up as another failure, another loss due to her own weaknesses. She's so overcome with guilt, believing that Ichigo "Was hurt badly and had his fate twisted" because of her that she willingly accepts the death sentence. NOT because she broke the law
but because she thinks she broke Ichigo.

And HE COMES AFTER HER. This has NEVER happened before--there's nothing Rukia can compare it too. He tries to stop her arrest. He fails. So he crosses the boundaries between worlds and fights through the combined ranks of SS to get to her on that bridge. Again, another failure. He pulls of a MIRACLE and comes BACK to stop the execution. He then goes back and defeats her brother to make sure this will never happen again.

Not only that, he then proceeds to FIX ALL HER BROKEN TIES WITH RENJI AND HER BROTHER.

Honestly? Put yourself in Rukia's place having lived a life where one mistake, one missed step terminates a relationship. Then throw in a stubborn boy who refuses to let you go and not only holds on to what he has with you but gives you back everything you've lost. It's no wonder other characters look on with envy.

And it's no wonder Rukia believes in him with her whole heart. Ever since SS, she's been the most confidant, strongest character in Bleach. (And it's shown in the popularity polls--she routinely beats Ichigo and ends up in SJ polls OUTSIDE of Bleach) In the arcs since, she's been able to stand up to Soul Society and she's faced down her worst nightmares. Arrancar!Kaien tries to play off the old insecurities and self doubts he gathered from Kaien's memories of her. Look where that got him. When Ichigo sends Chad away when fighting D Roy, Rukia is the one to tell him she's an idiot and help him anyway. When she's taken back to SS and Ichigo goes to HM, she crosses the boundaries between worlds, evading the combined ranks of SS to get to him in that desert because THAT'S WHAT HE DID FOR HER.

Rukia now has the confidence to operate independently of Ichigo--look at her, a Vice Captain! But if given the opportunity, she runs back to his side. This isn't because she needs him or she can't live without him but because being with him is where she belongs. He is the man in her heart.


Remember when Ichigo activated his fullbring? Take another look of the flashbacks. In all of his memories, it's during a moment when Rukia is with him or watching him from nearby. The chad panel is during the attack by Shreiker when they have their cute "Look at you! You said I wouldn't have to worry!". The first shot of Orihime yelling at her brother happens to be the first scene Rukia uses Ichigo's name instead of just calling him "human". The fight with grande Fischer...don't even have to explain. Ishida v Menos? Remeber Rukia's face when she sees his power up? Ichigo's face during the rescue scene? It's HIS reaction to her--Kubo wanted to leave the execution in while still saving Rukia for the last AWESOME panel. And that wibble face of Orihime? (Sensei, of all the reunion panels to use, why that one? Pick a better one!) That shot is on the page after we have the triumphant return of the nakama--with Rukia the star of the show.

They're all copy-paste (which has been mentioned before) but not only that they have screens over them--blurry memories faded with time. That shot of Rukia is as clear as the day it happened a year and a half ago. That's the biggest, clearest, picture he has--Rukia's smile as she leaves--the moment when she really did become unreachable.

I think Ichigo was proud of how well he used the gift Rukia gave him. The hardest emotion for him to deal with since her departure was his powerlessness--the one thing he thought would never change.

He did move on without her. He really tried--threw himself into it. Remember the first chapter after the time skip? It was an information overload. All these people with new hair, new situations, new roles--we hardly had time to breathe. Check out how crammed full most of those pages are.

His one thought about Rukia gets HALF A PAGE. Ichigo (who can use logical reasoning) knows she had to leave. He realizes she has other duties. He accepts that he has to move on and is working himself harder than he ever has before to move out of his house and on with his life. And still...he wishes she were here.

Not because he can't go on without her, or he's obsessed over being with her, but because when you're separated from the people you care about you miss them and want them to come home.

But these are desires he can't fully justify, or maybe even fully realize, so this blank half page is covered in the millions of things he wants to say but stops himself from picturing. Ichigo doesn't just lie down and give up. He's not someone to sit around crying. I think for most of the time skip he's angry with the fact that he has to "Keep Calm and Carry On" with being normal but he realizes that that's what logically must be done. (yes, it's been proven he can use logic)

Ichigo does not want power because he wants to be powerful. Being a normal human would probably be fine by him except he still sees the suffering and struggles around him. He hates that Ishida has to fight the hollows while he sits in the classroom. He can't stand the fact that terrible things are happening in KK town and he can't do anything about it. And when Tsukishima goes after EVERYONE he cares about, attacks them all and turns them against him it is Ichigo's worst nightmare.

Remember, Ichigo want power because he wants to stop bad things happening to good people. What he and Ishida talked about when fighting the Menos Grande should leave no doubt in any one's mind. Rukia gave him the power to protect everyone. He will value that forever--that she is the one who fulfilled the deepest desire of his heart. And when she comes back and does the same thing AGAIN...

When Ichigo and Rukia are together, the rest of the world disappears.


For me, there is no other ship in Bleach. For me, I see no other pairing coming close to what these two have. Two utter strangers from opposite worlds, each with their own history of suffering and loss, trusted each other with their lives that first night and forged the kind of bonds others can only dream of. The Story of Destiny will never end because the very premise of 'destiny' is the promise of what is to come.

BYU Campus in the Fall Appreciation!

Things are not going well in the animation department. The faculty are out of town for a conference and we haven't officially chosen leadership for our film so it's gone a bit...Lord of the Flies around here. Full details when we get to the Happy Ending in December but until then, enjoy some fall colored foliage from around our beautiful campus a few weeks back! (it's all snowy now)
Pictures! Lots!Collapse )


When I watch too much Supernatural it makes me want to go after certain people using a shotgun filled with rock salt.

Things right now are not working according to plan (and I'm coming up against a shocking amount of sexism and prejudice that I totally didn't expect) BUT final decisions have ye to be made and things are not over.  I'll give y'all a full update when they are.

Just keep swimming!